I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
