she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
