He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
