wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
