Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
