I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize