P.S. I can't hear my feet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
