I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
