Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
