She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
