last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
