I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
