you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
