There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i've created a new STD.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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