We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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