Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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