Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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