wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
