she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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