Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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