Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
