You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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