yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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