Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize