Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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