i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had sex on a roof
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
