we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
