i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
