I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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