i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she peed on how many people?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
