sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
