I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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