That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
