Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
