i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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