Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

return my video game

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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(214): View more from Texas

they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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(516): View more from New York

...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

(585): View more from New York

hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

(516): View more from New York

is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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(678): View more from Georgia

What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

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(907): View more from Alaska

On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent

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(678): View more from Georgia

They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.

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