the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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