It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
