I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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