Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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