I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
