Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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