I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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