OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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