Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
