this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
