Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
