Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
