my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
