is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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