I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
