I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dignity is for republicans.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize