on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
