I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
