OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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