making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize