who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
