Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
