I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize