tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize