Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
