Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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