Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
